Peterson Nutrition and Fitness: Services
Testimonials:
Grace's Success Story
"There's hope for the hopeless." - A Fine Frenzy
Some days I wondered if it would ever end. In my exhausted mind, the thought of freedom seemed impossible to grasp. How would I ever rise above the chains of the eating disorder? Anorexia nervosa controlled much of my life for longer than I could remember. Each choice, each moment, Ed stood over me telling me what I was to decide. My desires, my voice—it was all lost beneath the disorder. Ed was in charge. I was merely his slave who followed wherever he pulled. In time, the eating disorder controlled so many of my thoughts that I could not even recognize its presence in my life. For at least 5 years, the eating disorder convinced me that I was fine. There was no problem that needed addressing. I was not thin enough to be in danger. I was not one of those girls. I had my life together. There was no room for me to have "issues". I spent all of my teenage years and the beginning of adulthood living behind a perfect façade. Each day I wore a mask of sorts. Wherever I went, I bore a smile on my face. Whenever someone asked how I was doing, I immediately responded with, "I'm doing great, thanks!" But despite my performance, the truth remained. Ed was eating away my soul, my spirit, my essence. I was dying inside and was too blind to notice.
It was not until the end of my freshman year of college that I became willing to acknowledge that truth. Eventually, my denial came crashing down around me. In that moment, I knew I needed help. The fear of seeking treatment felt paralyzing. Life beyond the disorder felt like a fairytale off in some distant world. The thought of bridging the gap between that world and my reality seemed far too terrifying a task. At first, I convinced myself I would "get over it" on my own. I most certainly was not going to tell anyone I had a problem! In fact, I vowed to myself that I would never tell a soul about my struggle. So what changed? Honestly, it was nothing short of a miracle. By the grace of God, I let go of my fear, let go of my pride, and confronted the disease head on. How? I asked for help, and in that moment I chose to live. I was terrified. I had no idea what to do next. But deep within my heart, hope was blooming. Although I could not see it, and I certainly could not feel it, I dared to believe that freedom was possible.
It has now been 21 months since I began treatment for my eating disorder. My road to recovery has been a roller coaster with peaks and valleys along the way. Healing from the eating disorder has been no easy task. At times, I have longed to throw my hands in the air and shout, "I quit!" However, today I stand here so thankful that I have continued the fight. Seeking treatment was the most wonderful decision I could have possibly made. I am still finding my way through this maze, but I am not walking alone. Each day, I am stepping further into victory. Each day, I am learning what it means to truly live. You see, life within an eating disorder is no life at all, only a prison of desolate existence. I don't know about you, but that just is not enough for me. I want more! I want to live! My life was created for so much more than entrapment to this disease. For this reason, no matter how terrifying or exhausting the storm becomes, I refuse to quit. I am claiming my victory and I hope you will as well!
Your life is more valuable than anything the eating disorder has to offer. Your beauty far exceeds any number on the scale. You, my friend, were not born for defeat. You were born to overcome. You were born to live! You can roll your eyes at me and say, "She doesn't know me." But it doesn't matter. You were created for so much more and your life is waiting for you to show up. Oh how I hope you will! If you are contemplating seeking help, remember you are not alone. Remember that although it may not feel like it at the time, choosing to seek help is the most important decision you can make for yourself. My prayers and heart go out to you. May God watch over you and keep you safe.
--Grace
